Students are often told their college years will be the best of their lives—yet for many, they’re the loneliest.
Nearly half of U.S. college students report feeling lonely, according to the 2024 American College Health Association survey. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health “epidemic”—with young adults among the hardest hit.
The crisis makes the work of Janice McCabe—a sociologist and longtime Dartmouth house professor—more urgent than ever. McCabe has spent years studying how friendships form, falter, and flourish on campus, while mentoring students in residential communities. Her 2016 book, Connecting in College, revealed how friendships can both help and hinder student success.
Her new book, Making, Keeping, and Losing Friends: How Campuses Shape College Students’ Networks, translates years of research into practical strategies for forging meaningful connections—with actionable takeaways for students, parents, and colleges. Here are six research-backed ways students can build lasting friendships.
Don’t cling to your first group.
The first few weeks of college are prime time for meeting people. McCabe calls this the “initial friendship market”—the early social landscape students enter when they first arrive on campus. The term, borrowed from sociologist Lee Cuba, describes how students seek out and form connections in an environment shaped by timing and campus design. Orientation programs, residence halls, and early-term events create concentrated bursts of opportunity for friendship.
McCabe notes that students often feel pressure to lock in their social circle quickly, which can backfire later. “Sometimes students will cling onto the first group that they meet,” she says. “It can be wise to keep connections to multiple groups during that period as you’re getting to know people better—and maybe even as you’re getting to know yourself better.”
Her research shows that friendships evolve as students’ interests and identities shift. Staying flexible early on helps you avoid feeling stuck and opens doors to more meaningful connections down the road.
Seek out spaces for repeated interaction.
Friendships thrive on propinquity—repeated encounters in shared spaces. “Capitalizing on propinquity happens by joining a club rather than just going to a one-off event,” McCabe says. “Find opportunities to interact with the same people, ideally through a shared project.”
Clubs, campus organizations, and recurring activities create natural opportunities for deeper bonds. These “secondary friendship markets” are especially valuable if early ties don’t stick or if your social circle shifts later in college.
Make a concerted effort to connect across differences.
College puts you in daily contact with people unlike anyone you grew up with—but meaningful connections across differences don't happen automatically.
"Students are coming into contact with people different from them in so many ways," McCabe says. "But there are challenges, especially when people aren't comfortable working through difficult feelings. Those are skills people have to learn."
McCabe's research shows that cross-class and cross-identity friendships don't just enrich college life—they build empathy that lasts. The key is intentionality: seek out diverse spaces like residential communities or multicultural clubs, and practice staying in conversations even when they feel uncomfortable.
Campuses are increasingly creating structured ways to practice these dialogue skills. At Dartmouth, for instance, the partnership with StoryCorps' One Small Step pairs students with different political beliefs—not to debate, but to interview each other and connect as people. Programs like these offer low-stakes practice in the kind of openness that makes cross-difference friendships possible.
Use classes as friendship catalysts.
Your classes aren’t just about grades—they’re also potential friendship hubs.
“Group projects can lead to friendships because you spend more time together over an extended period,” McCabe says. “Even if at first you're not excited about the project.”
The key is treating classmates as more than academic transactions. Arrive a few minutes early and strike up a conversation. Suggest forming a study group. Ask someone to grab coffee after a particularly interesting lecture. McCabe notes that professors who design interactive assignments—such as partner work, peer reviews, or collaborative problem-solving—create natural openings for connection. Take advantage of them.
Know your network type—and what it means for you.
Not all friendship patterns are the same, and understanding yours can help you make smarter choices. McCabe identifies three common types: tight-knitters (one close-knit group), compartmentalizers (several distinct clusters), and samplers (a web of one-on-one friendships where friends don't know each other).
Each pattern has strengths and vulnerabilities. Tight-knitters feel deeply supported but can become isolated if the group fractures. Compartmentalizers juggle multiple social worlds—which works until those worlds demand too much. Samplers enjoy flexibility but may lack the deep support a closer network provides.
“If you have a tight-knit group, it can help to cultivate a few friendships outside that circle,” McCabe says. “Compartmentalizers need to think about which groups feel most meaningful. And samplers should ask whether their one-on-one friendships provide real support.”
Knowing your type isn’t about labeling yourself—it’s about recognizing patterns so you can build the kind of network that actually sustains you.
Take stock of your friendships.
Friendships shouldn’t just fill the gaps in your schedule. McCabe urges students to be intentional: “I encourage students to reflect on their friendships. Which friends are most meaningful to me? Is there a part of myself that I feel like I'm not able to express with my friends?”
These aren’t just questions about social satisfaction—they’re questions about identity. McCabe’s research shows that friendships shape how students understand themselves. Who you spend time with can affirm your values and sense of belonging, or signal that something’s missing.
Regular reflection helps you prioritize relationships that matter and spot what’s lacking—whether that means deepening existing friendships or seeking new ones. It’s especially valuable if you’re juggling multiple friend groups or feeling stretched thin. The goal isn’t to audit your social life, but to make sure your friendships support your growth rather than constrain it.
Dartmouth Libraries will host a book talk and Q&A with Janice McCabe on Friday, Dec. 12, at 12:30 p.m. at Baker-Berry Library.